December 2006 - Monthly Archive

19 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4152

FROLIC Memo

To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the... read more..

19 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2602

Razor Request

Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave. After being nicked by the barber several times Ronnie says "Hey buddy, have you got an extra razor?"The barber... read more..

19 Nov

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3475

Temptations

Temptation can and often does come when we least suspect it. Misunderstanding the source and nature of temptation can cause us to miss out on the truth we need to know to defeat it in our lives. Miss read more..

18 Nov

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

1090

7-Up Guess

The good people at Pepsi originally took 7 tries to get their 7-Up soda right (For those of you in Canada that's "pop" of course). As far as I know Coca Cola and Dr. Pepper haven't even manged to perf... read more..

18 Nov

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4607

A Dance of Falling Leaves

I drove my daughter to school early this morning in the glow of that special light that comes only during the Fall season. The vehicle ahead of us stirred up a dance of yellow leaves and many more read more..

18 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2647

Label Warning

My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set--top quality.The accompanying cutting board, however, was a different story.On the wrapping around it was printed this warning: "Opening with sharp object may ... read more..

17 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2880

Clerk Problem

In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting together. Nothing the clerk provided was suitable. Finally, Sandra said in annoyance, "Can't you find a smarter clerk ... read more..

17 Nov

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2271

Transit of Mercury

What do buses, a thermometer, and the sun have in common? Why, the transit of Mercury of course! This month, the planet Mercury passed between us and the sun. The whole thing was ca read more..

16 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4627

Creative Duelling

In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols. On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the t... read more..

16 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3106

Eggplant Sale

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea.--three for a dollar."All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"Meekly the grocer capitulat... read more..

16 Nov

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4319

Invitation to a Feast

I have a confession to make. I love banquets and pot-luck dinners. We’ll be having one in our church this week and I’m looking forward to the feast. We call this one our Thank Offering read more..

15 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4138

Its On The Way

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by... read more..

15 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3090

Viaduct Height

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberTwo goobers were driving a semi down a road when they came to... read more..

15 Nov

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2558

Funnel Juggling

Marriage, children, pastoring, web page developing, and processing plutonium for Iran (for peaceful purposes of course) are just a few of the responsibilities I juggle in life. After watching t read more..

15 Nov

Misc

Teresa hauber

1961

November so far...

We have had another busy month.. We have had 3 Birthdays so far.. No big celebrations though.. Just a grill out on a day in-between them all as they were all within a read more..

15 Nov

Shirley Choat

2110

Good Morning 11-15

"Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." - John 3:3 Jesus spoke these words to Nicodemus, a man who represents the spiritual state of every one of us. Bec read more..

14 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3991

Speeding Juggler

A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several swords in the car. "What are those for?" she asked. read more..

14 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2774

Football Signals

A three-year-old in the congregation regularly watched football games with his father. So much so, that he knew some of the signals the referee makes.On a recent Sunday, as the pastor raised his hand... read more..

13 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3982

Cheap Rhymes With Jeep

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he r read more..

13 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2913

Police Pastor

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months.... read more..

13 Nov

Shirley Choat

2130

Good Morning 11-14

"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." - Psalm 103:12 One of man's greatest needs is the assurance of complete forgiveness. read more..

13 Nov

Shirley Choat

2113

Good Morning 11-13

"A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment." - Prov. 19:19 Nothing is ever gained by allowing anger and secret wishes for revenge to fester in your heart. You will only harm read more..

12 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3644

Signs That You May Be Canadian

1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine" 3. You eat c read more..

12 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2470

Still More Bulletin Bloopers

Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which we are thankful.The Jack and Kill Daycare is looking for someone to help part time on Saturdays.We'll kick off... read more..

12 Nov

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3251

Listen and Know

A follower of Jesus recognizes His teachings and lives them out.Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20061112.mp3{/audio}... read more..

11 Nov

Shirley Choat

2227

Good Morning 11-12

"This is the day the LORD hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." THIRD-LAST SUNDAY IN THE CHURCH YEAR Mark 13:1-13 Psalm 113 & 16 During this time of read more..

11 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2610

Tow Request

The minister's car wouldn't start and so he called the garage to come and tow it in for repairs. When the truck driver appeared at his house to get the car, the minister says, "I hope you go easy on m... read more..

11 Nov

Games

Pastor Tim

48660

Gridlock Game

Here's a really fun game where you move the blocks around to open the path to slide the blue bar through the opening. I don't know how many levels there are in this challenge, so just be careful... read more..

If You Voted On Tuesday, Thank A Veteran

11 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3773

If You Voted On Tuesday, Thank A Veteran

On Tuesday morning as I was leaving the house the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage called after me, “Don’t forget to vote, today.” As if anybody in America could ever forget read more..

10 Nov

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

4467

The Twelve Recounts of Christmas 2000

On the first recount of Christmas my country gave to me ... a disputed presidency. On the second recount of Christmas my country gave to me ... two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency. read more..