2024 - Monthly Archive - Results from #240

07 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1623

Sentiment

I guess I must have been poking through the cards for an awful long time, lingering from one card to another, because the clerk in the Hallmark store came over and said, "Sir, is there a problem?" "Y... read more..

04 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

130

Cybersalt News - August 4, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! Remember how I have been working on emptying my email inbox? Well, I just discovered that emails sent in reply to Cybersalt Digests have not been getting downloaded since ... read more..

03 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

148

Quote #2281

"When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone. When you're great at something, they'll tell you." - Walter Payton read more..

03 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7061

The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

A mother was teaching her young daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother liste... read more..

03 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1783

Slow Down Therapy - Part 2

13. Rest on your laurels. They bring comfort whatever their size, age, or condition. 14. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words. 15. Give yourself permission to be read more..

03 Aug

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

156

Ship Building Happens

I've been thinking about Noah's ark. It was made of gopher wood and pitched inside and out. I asked myself if the pitch was a fast-ball, a curve, a change-up or... I know they wouldn't have used a sin... read more..

03 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

154

One-Liner #1846

My son, Luke, loves how I named my kids after Star Wars characters; my daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.... read more..

01 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

131

Cybersalt News - August 1, 2024

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - welcome to August and (if you are reading this in the PearlyGates newsletter) PearlyGates Edition number 1,000! This is a very special August 1st for a friend of Grandma C... read more..

31 Jul

Susan Page

227

Around our Crowded Table

- photo by Susan PageRecently, I had the wonderful opportunity of attending another Momentum Choir performance. The Momentum Choir “is a collective of amazing people striving for community, joy, and h read more..

31 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2466

💃 Husband's Hilarious Dance Night Out

A husband, who is not the most outgoing guy, relents to his wife's months of nagging to take her out dancing. During the evening one guy on the dance floor is giving it large - break dancing, mo... read more..

31 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4805

Art Good News/Bad News

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentlema... read more..

31 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1961

Bridget Schuil

In days of yore A god of war Rode out upon his filly. "I'm Thor," he cried And his horse replied "Well you forgot your thaddle, thilly."... read more..

31 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

125

Quote #2280

"It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy." - Unknown read more..

31 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

152

One-Liner #1845

Steve's keyboard must be broken ... he keeps hitting the escape key, but he's still at work.... read more..

31 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1709

Appearance of Evil

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a snack at the restaurant, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed.... read more..

28 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

127

Cybersalt News - July 28, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! Grandma Cybersalt and I are off to our youngest grandchild's first birthday party today. Time sure flies when your not the youngest anymore! Today's video share is an exa... read more..

27 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

153

Quote #2279

My grandpa once said: "Your terrible job is the dream of the unemployed. Your house is the dream of the homeless. Your smile is the dream of the depressed. Your health is the dream of the ill. Don't l... read more..

27 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

159

One-Liner #1844

How come there's enough asphalt for speedbumps, but not enough to fill potholes?... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3994

Kids' Instructions for Life

Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, Age 10 When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. Matthew, Age 12 Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitc... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1994

Brain Problem

Scientists have finally figured out what is wrong with mankind. The problem lies in the two halves of their brains - the left and the right. The left half has nothing right in it And the right half... read more..

27 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1749

Marital Faithfulness

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "You know, I've lost my wife somewhere in this huge supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks.... read more..

Father O'Malley's Surprise: An Irishman's Final Wish 😂

25 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

6860

Father O'Malley's Surprise: An Irishman's Final Wish 😂

An old Irish man is lying in bed, very ill. His son is sitting at his bedside, expecting the end to come at any moment. The old man looks up at the boy and says, "Son, it's time for you to get m... read more..

25 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

141

Cybersalt News - July 25, 2024

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today, we're getting a quote to install a heat pump at Cybersalt World Headquarters. It's something we have considered getting for years - especially during the really hot ... read more..

24 Jul

Susan Page

434

All

- photo by Susan PageWhat happens when we do not get all that we want from life? How do we react when we do not receive exactly what we want when we want it? Picture a child having a temper tantrum. I read more..

24 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

152

Quote #2278

Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out. - Gaelic Proverb... read more..

24 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

171

One-Liner #1843

Seen in bookstore window: Please note: The post-apocalyptical fiction section has been moved to Current Affairs.... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4342

Managing a Flag Pole

A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladder and tape measures. They fell off the ladder, dropped the tap... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2877

Bovine Pun

What do you call a cow spying on another cow? - A steak out.... read more..

24 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2374

Fish Stories

Two ardent fishermen met on their vacation and began swapping stories about the different places they had fished, the kind of tackle used, the best bait, and finally about some of the fish they had ca... read more..

21 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

171

Cybersalt News - July 21, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! I hope that by the time you read this I have fewer than 300 emails in my inbox. It sounds like a lot, but it is great progress toward my zero-inbox goal! Today's video sh... read more..