April 2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

20 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2835

Pain Explanation

A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty. You have to put something into it!" She then p... read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4740

Used Lawn Mower

A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn mower, he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign advertising a ... read more..

19 Apr

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4681

Everything Beautiful

While shopping one day last week, I was startled with the array of blazing color when I walked through the door. The pinks were very pink. Orange and yellow blouses were as bright as the sun shining t... read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3784

Who's On First - Computer Version

*Who's On First - Computer Version*ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.ABBOTT: Mac?COSTE read more..

18 Apr

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4988

The Most Powerful Tool

Each job you do has tools to accomplish the task. A job in a machine shop has to have the machines devoted to that particular job. A seamstress has to have sewing machines, sergers, and blind stitcher... read more..

18 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2845

Lawyer Questioning

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both came from good families. Both we... read more..

18 Apr

Misc

2520

Silly Boy

Kincaid is slowly getting back to normal. He has some intestinal distress tho, but is smiling. I was on the computer last night and Kevin came down to tell me Kincaid just threw up. Within sec... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Charles

6911

Bathroom Instructions

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"... read more..

Preparation and Execution of My Income Tax Return

17 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3900

Preparation and Execution of My Income Tax Return

April 15th is the time of the year when Americans can communicate with their government. I cannot testify for anyone else, but I look forward to this marvelous opportunity and I am careful not to wast... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3043

Exercise Program

Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some.AS ALWAYS, ... read more..

16 Apr

Dr. Harold McNabb

10806

The Shepherd and Guardian of our Souls

Did any of you memorize the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley, when you were in school? It goes like this: Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever go... read more..

16 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6473

Application To Date My Daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unlessaccompanied by a complete financial statement, school history, jobhistory, ancestral lineage, DMV printout, and a current medicalreport fro... read more..

16 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4618

Sweat Dreams

While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old granddaughter.One morning when she awoke, she told me she had some nice dreams and proceeded to tell me about them.I to... read more..

Spring Fever Differs In Single And Married Women.

15 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3877

Spring Fever Differs In Single And Married Women.

It has been a hectic week at the parsonage. The weather was so gorgeous I really did not see it coming. Nevertheless, come it did. It was Tuesday morning when "it" happened. I got up at my usual time... read more..

15 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4669

Read The Label

A three-year-old boy went with his father to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were 2 boy kitties and 2 girl kitties. "How do you know?"... read more..

15 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3665

IRS Call

When the minister picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the line."Hello, is this the minister?""Yes, this is.""I'm calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr... read more..

15 Apr

Misc

2666

Vaccines

Well, here goes... my first blogging attempt. That is such a silly word, if you ask me. Monday, baby Kincaid got his second round of vaccines at his 4 month check up. He was so crumpy afterwards and... read more..

14 Apr

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3701

Lessons Learned in Mom's Taxi!

"Run, Peggie, Run!" may someday be a bestseller when I write it, in retirement years, in a rocking chair with computer attached (visualize that one!). Actually, I am too busy now to even consider it.. read more..

14 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4605

Careful Pulling The Plug

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-hair... read more..

14 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3448

Tax Forms

It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of tax forms. "Why so many?" I asked."My son is overseas," she said. ... read more..

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

13 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5131

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car d read more..

13 Apr

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3594

Nesting Near

Some time ago, my middle daughter, Laura, called to ask my advice. She is at an "in- between" place right now. She's been working in the city but feeling restless, feeling that God has something more ... read more..

13 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2937

Ad Woes

A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East assignment. His boss asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East,... read more..

New Computer Viruses You Should Know About

12 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4608

New Computer Viruses You Should Know About

*New Computer Viruses You Should Know About* THE LIBERAL VIRUS Before deleting all your files, this virus tells you: "That you don't need them anyway and they wouldn't want to be burdened with such o read more..

12 Apr

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4035

Thoughts Running Wild!

Imagine going around a curve, or up a steep hill, and your car starts sputtering, and the speed begins to lower. It doesn't matter how much you press on the gas, it is not going anywhere. You let off ... read more..

12 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5007

Bunch Of Laughs

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of Heaven". Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance." Rev. Warren J.&nb... read more..

12 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6403

Re-Gifting

She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove ... read more..

11 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5642

Photo Radar

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail, a ticket for $40.00, and a photo of his car.&... read more..

11 Apr

Rev. Spence Laycock

4238

Cautions To a Great Church

One of the most memorable experiences I ever had was in helping to build a small shed. There was nothing impressive about the size of it, just a 10 by 12 shed. It was going to house a generator so we ... read more..

11 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3052

Raise Request

Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want a raise.Boss: Well, I can't give you a raise, but if you'll tell me who the other two men are, I'll fire them.... read more..