May 2006 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

17 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4766

Aging

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.~ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory.I forg... read more..

16 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4401

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don... read more..

15 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

6743

God's Family Plan

The dishes, garbage, and dirty laundry would pile up for days when Cat and Harlan Barnard's teenage children refused to do their chores. So the Barnards—of Enterprise, Florida—went on ... read more..

15 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4599

Cats

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.""As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.""One cat just read more..

15 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2821

Money Worries

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business."I need someone with an accounting degree,... read more..

Emotional Health - Break the Power of the Past

14 May

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3308

Emotional Health - Break the Power of the Past

Our family of origin and significant events in our past are the primary realities that affect our emotions and feelings today. If we don't understand this about ourselves we are doomed to re... read more..

13 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4017

Miscellaneous Ponderings

A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I have a work station... GO FIGURE!If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?I believe five... read more..

Mom's Cooking Was Nothing To Write Home About

13 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4107

Mom's Cooking Was Nothing To Write Home About

With all the ballyhoo today around diet and nutrition it amazes me, as I look back, how I ever survived my mother’s culinary endeavors. According to modern nutritional experts, she did everythin... read more..

13 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3049

Elementary Motherhood

Following are answers given by elementary school-age children to the given questions: Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.2. Think about it. It was the b... read more..

12 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4080

Cruising

These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1. (For this one, you have to know that it's really easy to get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A lady ... read more..

11 May

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

5062

Mothers Can Only Do So Much!

Mother? Oh, Mother? How many times have you heard those words? Often times they are reeking with excitement, or perhaps fear or anguish! I can remember rushing to the aid of my children, when I heard ... read more..

11 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3888

Inspiring Music

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.Therefore, he was annoyed to... read more..

11 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2578

You Know You Are a Geek When

You know you are a geek when . . .You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."You get bittersweet nostalgic feelings about your long-lost Commodore 64 (or Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80, etc.) a... read more..

10 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

8368

Was Jesus Worshipped?

I want to speak about a topic that was introduced a few weeks back by a couple of different callers who were contesting the deity of Jesus and whether or not the New Testament actually taught that. On... read more..

10 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4600

Dial A Prayer Twist

They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.... read more..

10 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3031

Garage Wow

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two ad... read more..

09 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4013

Lost Balloon

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:"Excuse me, can you tell me where ... read more..

09 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2893

Traffic Laughs

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place in line.* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next thing they'll be selling is ant read more..

08 May

Wonders of Creation

5829

Organic Molecules

What is an "organic molecule?" When scientists announce that they have found one, the impression that a layperson gets is that this molecule can, like magic, suddenly produce life! It ... read more..

08 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4127

Shoe Repair

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old.&nbs... read more..

08 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2778

Milk Switch

To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular c... read more..

07 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4051

Forgotten Watch

A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I le... read more..

07 May

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3362

Generational Punishment

Do you feel doomed spiritually because of what one of your ancestors did to displease God? Some people say that God curses families for up to 3 or 4 generations when someone has sinned, but... read more..

06 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3565

12 Step Web Addicts Recovery Program

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.3) I will get dresse read more..

06 May

Rev. Spence Laycock

5930

Getting Past the Resurrection

How forgetful are you? Have you ever forgotten birthdays, doctors appointments, the keys that smiled at you from the ignition of a locked car. I remember hearing a story about a fellow whose wife call... read more..

06 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2712

People and Mistakes

People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.People who do less work... make fewer mistakes.People who do no work... make no mistakes.People who make no mistakes... get promoted.That's why I sp... read more..

05 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4122

Strawberry Fertilizer

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?""Fertilizer,&qu... read more..

05 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4050

Aging Does Have Its Many Rewards

One day last week while draining my morning cup of coffee for the sixth n or was it the seventh n time, I can’t remember, a thought struck me. It has been such a long time since a thought has struck m... read more..

05 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2926

Thai This For a Change

An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Helen noticed her husband looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. "What w... read more..

04 May

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

5469

An Invitation

I received an invitation in the mail yesterday. It's one of the home-made kind, with a border of stamped flowers around the edge. The card is really just a courtesy since I have been asked to read more..