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June 2021
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Pastor Tim (33)
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Search
30 Jun
Quotes
Susan Davis
679
Quote #2020
"I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes." - Jean Vanier
read more..
30 Jun
Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
5245
On Star Locks
If I lock my keys in my car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car. If the car is stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car. Whenever my wife tells me she
...
read more..
30 Jun
One-liners
Susan Davis
690
One-Liner #1583
I just got kicked out of the flat earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing rule had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
...
read more..
30 Jun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2331
Aussie Cables
“Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.”
...
read more..
30 Jun
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1653
Scientific Advances
While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request
...
read more..
30 Jun
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5134
Tourist Questions
Here are some of the "All-Time Dumbest Questions" asked by Banff Park tourists. On nature... How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs? At what elevation does an e
...
read more..
27 Jun
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
1081
Where Do Wrinkles Come From?
Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for bein
...
read more..
26 Jun
Quotes
Susan Davis
731
Quote #2016
"Children see magic because they look for it." - Christopher Moore
read more..
26 Jun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2160
Blue Moon
Some people like raw meat on rare occasions.
...
read more..
26 Jun
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1667
Consistency
A man goes to consult Dr. Mike Wilson, the most expensive doctor in the city about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is five hundred dollars," repli
...
read more..
26 Jun
One-liners
Susan Davis
703
One-Liner #1579
Based on the amount of laundry I do each week, I'm beginning to think there are people who live here that I haven't met yet.
...
read more..
24 Jun
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
553
Cybersalt News - June 24, 2021
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I've been up all night helping someone with their government site in Italy. So with sleepy eyes I hope you enjoy the rest of today's mailing. ~ Pastor Tim
...
read more..
23 Jun
Quotes
Susan Davis
683
Quote #2019
I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. - G. K. Chesterton
read more..
23 Jun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2315
Sister Clothes
Have you heard about the latest new drug? When administered to women, it gives them the irresistible urge to join a convent. The FDA refuses to approve it, though. They fear it will be habit-forming
...
read more..
23 Jun
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1653
Long Life, Surviving, Aging
When my grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so
...
read more..
23 Jun
One-liners
Susan Davis
844
One-Liner #1582
My wife is singing in the house; I'm sitting outside so the neighbors don't think I'm hitting her.
...
read more..
23 Jun
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2789
Tried and Trusted
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours." The banker said, "Yes h
...
read more..
20 Jun
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
988
Will We Be Served Coffee in Heaven?
The last several weeks have truly been hectic in every sense of the word. Trying to catch up can be a never-ending job. When I think I’m caught up, I see another thing I need to do. I have learned th
...
read more..
20 Jun
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
550
Cybersalt News - June 20, 2021
Sunday greetings everyone, and happy Father's Day to everyone who is able to celebrate! Today is the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. It's the first day of summer, which is excitin
...
read more..
19 Jun
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5192
Dad Sayings
I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it. Say what you will about healthy eating and all, but I've always found it awfully difficult
...
read more..
19 Jun
One-liners
Susan Davis
697
One-Liner #1581
"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot." - Rodney Dangerfield
read more..
19 Jun
Quotes
Susan Davis
688
Quote #2018
“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.” - Reed Markham
read more..
19 Jun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2078
Husband Diagnosis
Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, “I don’t like the way he looks.” “Neither do I,” she said. “But he’s hand
...
read more..
19 Jun
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1760
Horseshoe Impression
One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to a
...
read more..
17 Jun
Quotes
Susan Davis
696
Quote #2017
"One of the positive features of a season of liminality is that it provides a pause that lets what has to belong in the past to be left in the past, so that the future can come can as it must and bl
read more..
17 Jun
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
530
Cybersalt News - June 17, 2021
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! The big news, figuratively and literally, around Cybersalt World Headquarters is Grandma Cybersalt have a new grandson! Isaac Timothy Driver was born at 1:16pm, weighing
...
read more..
16 Jun
Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
4982
Van Woes
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. "Hey, lady, have you forgotten h
...
read more..
16 Jun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2064
Paying Through the Nose
Drug research companies have created their own cold rush.
...
read more..
16 Jun
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1769
A Survivor
"I've had laryngitis, tonsillitis, hepatitis, meningitis, appendicitis, tendinitis, and colitis. I've also suffered from gastritis, bronchitis, gingivitis, bursitis, and arthritis. "I've been held up
read more..
16 Jun
One-liners
Susan Davis
715
One-Liner #1580
I'm the type of wife that will help my husband look for his chocolate, that I ate.
...
read more..
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